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Verse for Today

"I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go; I will guide thee with mine eye." Psalm 32:8

Monday, February 6, 2012

The Battle for My Thoughts - Part 1

By Amanda T.

"A penny for your thoughts!" My sister quipped, nudging me as she slid a pot in my sudsy water.

I quickly started scrubbing the pot, bending my head down to hide the red that boiled in my face. "What thoughts?" I muttered, but my sister had already flitted to the dining room to wipe the crumbs off the table.

I had done it again. My eyes had rested on an object outside the window and in my mind I was fashioning a scene. Unconsciously, my sister had probed into a struggle I was having. She did it merely for fun - she was simply quoting a line from a book she had recently read.

Photograph by Amanda T.

As soon as the last dish was put away, I hurried to my room and swung the door shut. With my back resting on the door, I looked up at the ceiling.

"Why? Why am I still struggling? I'm supposed to be over this now! I've worked so hard but I'm still struggling! God, I don't know what to do next!" My jaws clenched and my fists doubled up. It seemed like I was fighting against an invisible enemy within myself.

"My thoughts aren't worth a penny." I moaned. How ashamed I would be to admit to my sister what I was really thinking! And yet . . . I slid to the floor and hid my face in my knees. God knew what I was thinking! If I was ashamed to let my younger sister know my thoughts, how much more ashamed should I be that God was looking down and seeing every detail of my thoughts!


"Lord, I give up! It's too hard! No one tries to keep their thoughts pure! It's such a bother! How am I supposed to know what You want me to do about them? Or do You even want me to do anything about them?" I caught my breath and slowly raised my head guiltily. There was no reason for me to complain about my problem as if I were in the dark because I knew where to find the answer to all of life's problems - no matter how small.

With a deep breath, I stood up and reached for my Bible then hastily pulled out the drawer where I kept my neglected concordance.

"Okay," I breathed decidedly, "What do You say about our thoughts?" I thumbed through the pages of the concordance until I reached "th." My eyes quickly scanned page after page until thoughts glared up at me. I grabbed a notebook and pen and settled on my bed.


. . .  To Be Continued Tomorrow . . .


3 comments:

Abby said...

It is so hard to keep our thoughts pure, and you're definitely not the only one! Can't wait to read the rest!

Meggie said...

I've been struggling with that at the moment. You go through stages when you dont even think of certain things, and then the next week all of a sudden you cant get horrible, disgusting thoughts out of your head. I cannot wait to see what you write tomorrow!

Blessings,
Meggie

Amanda said...

Abby and Meggie,

I can so identify with both of you (obviously :))! It is helpful to realize that we are not the only one struggling with thoughts, but that it is a temptation that we all deal with. I pray that this short story has encouraged you.

~Amanda
www.withajoyfulnoise.blogspot.com

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