By Amanda T.
Friends. The very word sends our thoughts to a special group
of people that we tenderly call “friends.” At the same time, some of us might
feel a sting as we think of past friendships that are now dissolved.
Friendship, in all of its blaze and glory, is not without its bruises and
tears.
The Bible has a lot to say about friendship. From good
examples (Jonathan and David) to bad examples (Samson and Delilah), to
blessings, to warnings, we see friendship woven throughout the Old and New
Testament.
People also have a lot to say about friendship. Our pastors
and youth pastors preach about it, our parents and grandparents fuss about it,
and our friends (obviously) encourage it! Is there really a need to look at it
any longer?
Not Just Any Friend
In the world today, girls are thrown together with many
different types of people. However, we do not need to befriend everyone with
which we come into contact. We must choose
our friendships carefully and wisely. One way to choose friends is through the guidance
of our parents. Though many girls do not care to have their parents “interfere
with my life,” God has given our
parents to us for this very reason! Perhaps if Samson had listened to his
parents’ counsel and desires, he would not have fallen into Delilah’s traps and
ultimately imprisonment and an early death (read Judges 14-16).
Another way to choose friends is through the guidance of
Scripture. “A prudent man foreseeth the
evil, and hideth himself; but the simple pass on, and are punished.” (Proverbs
27:12) Consider wisely the choice of friends you have.
What is a Friend to
Be?
Friends laugh hysterically with each other at midnight;
friends share their dreams and desires; friends wear matching outfits; friends sing
duets; friends write notes and emails. Such glorious, happy-go-lucky types of
friendship are what a girl often has, but is that all there is to being
friends?
“And Jonathan Saul's
son arose, and went to David into the wood, and strengthened his hand in God.”
(1 Samuel 23:16) The last part of this verse struck me: and strengthened his hand in God. A valuable friend to have is one
who shares our beliefs and will strengthen our relationship with God. A true
friend will pray for us, share verses with us, share how God is growing them,
and . . . a true friend will even come to us and give us some (maybe unwanted) Biblical
advice.
What types of people should we have as friends?
Older friends to mentor
us (Titus 2:3-5)
Women such as grandmas, aunts, moms, our pastor’s wife, and
other godly ladies should be special friends. God has placed them in our lives
to help us live holy before Him. Older women have lived through the struggles
we live through, they have learned from difficult mistakes, and they are full
of wisdom that should be a treasure chest to any young lady.
Friends that we can
learn with (Proverbs 27:17)
Our peers are probably the friends we seek out the most. These
can be the “iron-sharpening-iron” relationships (those who are growing in Christ,
reading the Bible, and striving to live a Christ-like life) or detrimental
relationships (those who are living for self, without a thought of God). We
need to evaluate our friendships to be sure that they are building us up in the
Lord and not causing us to fall away.
Friends that we can encourage
in the Lord (Galatians 6:1-2)
There are special friends in our life that may not be at the
same maturity as we are (emotionally and spiritually). These are the friends that
we can encourage and build up. At the same time, we must be careful that these
“ministry friendships” are not pulling us down. It requires a lot of prayer and
discernment (as well as counsel from our parents and older friends) to have
this type of ministry friendship. Our younger friend must be growing, seeking
to learn, and maturing; if such is not the case, we must carefully weigh if it
is a friendship that God would have us to continue.
The Ultimate
Friendships
“But I don’t have any
friends,” some might say. Please,
please, please do not count this as a
curse!!! This “friendless” time could be used in many ways by God. First, it
can cultivate a warmer relationship between you and God. Secondly, it can draw
you closer to your siblings (who are, in reality, your life-time friends). Thirdly,
it could be a way of God protecting you from a harmful friendship. Remember
that no friend at all is much more desirable than mixing with bad company.
{To be continued on July 26}
~~~
About Amanda:
Amanda is a homeschool graduate living with her parents and eleven siblings in Louisiana. Their family sings together, sharing God’s love through music in churches and nursing homes.
Until God shows her a different path, she enjoys teaching piano and music theory, hymn-arranging, photography, writing, spending time with her siblings, and home economics. In the past few years, Proverbs 3:5-7 has been a passage that God has used in her life, showing her how vital it is to trust Him in any issue. You may visit her blog:
www.withajoyfulnoise.blogspot.com
